The role that parents play in the lives of their children is something that is definitely not an easy task and requires full effort so they could pull-off with raising their kids the right way. Perhaps, aside from making sure the kids are growing healthy, one of the top concerns or goals of parents is to raise their children well in such a way that they’ll be responsible and good-natured individuals. However, we very well know that this goal is somehow hard to achieve, considering there are a lot of factors and elements that could avoid or prevent them from doing good. Like in today’s generation, most kids think that just because a certain action or a thing makes them feel good, it’s already cool enough and that there’s nothing wrong in pursuing it. Most of today’s children are just after the immediate satisfaction and pleasure they could get from doing something and that, they care less whether that thing is good or bad (Lickona, p.4).
So what should parents do to be able to raise responsible, socially-skilled, and good-natured children?
There are some guidelines that parents may follow in order for them to effectively raise good children. These are:
- Be A Good Listener
Parents should put in mind that their kids also need to talk sometimes. Parents must not devote the whole stage to themselves. They must give their children the chance to tell their sides of the story. And in doing so, make sure that your kids could feel that you are really listening to whatever it is they’re saying.
In casual conversations, like when you’re kid is telling you how his/her day went, listen to them. Be excited with their stories. Ask questions if you may for it will further make your child feel that his/her parents are indeed around to listen to his/her woes and to feel excited and happy over their triumphs.
- Respect
Children must respect their parents all the time. It is one of the golden rules in the relationship between parents and children. The parents, on the other hand, must also respect their children the way they wanted to be respected. They should not think that just because they’re ages older than their kids, they are the only ones that need to be respected. Every individual should be given respect regardless of age, gender, and status (Gordon 169).
- Discipline Without Scaring
Most parents thought that trying to discipline their kids through scaring them or being tough on them is the best way to raise responsible and disciplined children. Actually, it is not. Kids become more rebellious when their parents tend to be too tough or strict on them.
On the other hand, there are also parents who feel that talking to their kid or disciplining them over minor misbehaviors would lower down their self-esteem. Again, this is not true. Parents must know and understand that their kids must be corrected when they did something wrong. If parents would just let a minor misbehavior of their kid pass, the tendency is for the kid to think that whatever he’s done is okay since his/her parents don’t seem to be bothered by his/her actions
(Swihart, Jr. & Cotter 149).
- Pose Good Examples
Children learn so much just by observing the behavior of their parents. Since parents are parents, kids think that they are most of the time right since they very well know the differences of the good from the bad. According to the 24K Golden Rule presented by author Maurice Elias, parents must always think about what impact would their actions give their children, or how would their kids think about with their actions (Elias 7). If you want them to obtain some goals in life, be a person with goals, too. Make them fully understand the importance of having a sense of direction in life by showing good examples (Elias 16).
- Never Compare
Parents must understand that their kids would not like to hear any comparison of him/her to other people or to other kids. After all, who would want to be compared all the time, right? Instead of comparing your child to other kids, try talking to him/her in a manner that would help him/her understand your point and the course of his/her actions. Show your kids that you appreciate them wholeheartedly and that you are proud of them and it will surely nurture your relationship with them (Gordon 22).
- Communicate
Being a parent does not only means providing your kids the things they need or disciplining them when they did something wrong. Being a parent also means being a friend and confider to your children. Let them know and feel that you are indeed your kid’s refuge and a shoulder to cry on when they feel that everybody and everything else is going against him/her. Doesn’t just be a parent. Learn to be a friend to them, too.
Works Cited Page
Elias, Maurice, Tobias, Steven, & Friedlander, Bryan. “Emotionally Intelligent
Parenting.” Three Rivers PR. 2000.
Gordon, Thomas. “Parent Effective Training.” Three Rivers Press, New York. 1975 Lickona, Thomas. “Raising Good Children From Birth Through The Teenage Years.” Bantam Books, New York. 1983.
Swihart Jr., Ernest & Cotter, Patrick. “The Manipulative Child.” Bantam Books,New
York. 1998.
